Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
