i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
