Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
