Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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