I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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