their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
