I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize