One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
