Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
All I want is dick and wine.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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