I'm so fucking centered right now
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
