he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
