Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
