I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
