found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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