so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
