Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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