doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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