party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just cut my nipple shaving
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize