I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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