Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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