absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
