I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
