I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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