i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
