His pubic hair was longer than his dick
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
