I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
