No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
