It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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