Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
