there's paper in my vomit.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
