Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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