it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i believe in u and ur pee
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
