I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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