Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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