i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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