put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize