He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Four minutes until I can fart!
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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