dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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