why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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