We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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