you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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