Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
