I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
