better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
