just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
