Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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