her vagine was all disorganized.
he puts the penis in happiness.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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