I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
