sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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