I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize