just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
