the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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