I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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