Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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