yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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