Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
