it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
