you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
