sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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