Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
