I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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