He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
