My Higher Power is John Stamos
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She bit a glass in half.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
