Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
