He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
