is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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