sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Watching her eat just hurts me
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
