ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
