why didn't you poke me back
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
