Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
false alarm, still single
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