i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
