is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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