So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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