I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
