they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Of course I have a pirate flag
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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