Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
